i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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