i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
