I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
