but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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