im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
