you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
