God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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