you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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