In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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