I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize