we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
