Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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