I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
