ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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