Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
