I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We are all done wearing pants today
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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