Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
