that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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