Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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