I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
