I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
