I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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