i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
