Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
