when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
