she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm jealous of your bromance
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
