to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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