feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
