took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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