So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I need a beard to bite.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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