If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
