But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
