Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
there's paper in my vomit.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Still dying that you shit outside
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
