This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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