Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Boobs are out for the taking
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
