my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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