he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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