He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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