You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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