I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
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