took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
