so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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