so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
