and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
