He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
