help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
