if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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