My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
