i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
