i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
