I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
